“He looks like a chupacabra that wants to be Morissey.”
“Shitler. How is that not a more commonly used term?”
“You can’t beer bong your own ass!”
“Is that her reaction to being told her friend was pregnant? Can you imagine what you would say if I told you I was pregnant?? I’d say - are you asking for a ride?”
“I’m so insulted that you think that just because I’m a woman, I care about your bullshit shitty life.”
“Literally, when Matt Damon says Hi to you, your vagina jumps into your throat.”
“Did you try those cookies, ‘cause I felt like I was doing the cinnamon challenge.”
